For the first two weeks after giving birth, feeling like a mental wreck isn’t pathological. Something like 80% of new moms experience the “baby blues.” To nobody’s surprise, it turns out that dramatic hormone fluctuations and acute sleep deprivation can really mess with your head.
I have cried over the strangest things since Younger Brother was born. For example: I thought of happy memories from when Little Boy was a baby, like going on walks in the evening light, and that made me sad. They were not tears of joy, but tears of deep melancholy.
The wacky mood swings have mostly faded now, a month out, but chronic sleep deprivation is taking its toll. I distinctly recall feeding Younger Brother shortly before midnight last night, and I know I was roused again by a hungry baby around 4 a.m. I think there might have been another feeding in the middle, about 2 or 2:30 . . . but I honestly cannot say for sure. Perhaps I dreamed it, or perhaps I merely stirred briefly and glanced at the clock.