I learned how to knit socks about three years ago, not long after rediscovering knitting as a hobby. (It’s a wonderful hobby for introverts. It makes small talk roughly 87 bajillion times more tolerable.) Socks turned out to be the perfect project for me: they’re wearable, yet a manageable size; challenging enough to be interesting, but not so hard as to frustrate; and there are only two yarn ends to weave in, if all goes well. Plus, brightly colored socks have always been my thing. Back in high school, I was known among my friends for always giving funky (store-bought) socks as gifts.
I cast on this particular pair of socks in May 2014. I worked on them through many an evening night of television, and I brought them with me on our last big pre-kid vacation.
And then Little Boy was born, and I stopped knitting.
It wasn’t just the lack of time, although that was a big part of it. It was the depression, and the way trying to figure out where I was on these socks seemed like an enormous and exhausting task. I’d had some problems with the yarn on the second sock, and was worried about getting the toe in the right place, and about running out of yarn. It just seemed so un-fun. Why bother?
I tried, once, when Little Boy was three months old. It wasn’t enjoyable. I didn’t try again.
Finally, a few months back, I left this pair in a box, found a different pattern, and started a completely different pair of socks. And all the fun I remembered came back. Not right away, but it came back—the relaxing feel of having something to do with my hands, the pleasure of making something, the daydreaming of what to make next.
That new pair of socks isn’t quite finished, but I found myself suddenly motivated to pull these green ones back out. As it turned out, there wasn’t anything complicated left to do at all, just a few rows of straight knitting and an easy toe. All the ugh I’d imagined was just in my imagination.
Here’s why these socks matter: they’re another corner turned. Another step back from depression. Another step towards life.
P.S. If you’d like to make your own pair of green socks, here’s the pattern on Ravelry. (I love Ravelry.)