One of the many frustrations of depression is that it’s hard to figure out how to cope with the feeling of “I don’t want to anything.” That feeling could mean that I’m tired, sick, and/or worn out and could use a real break, or it could be the gray fog of depression making all possible activities seem like too much effort and not enough fun. Unfortunately, the best course of action for the first case is the exact opposite of the best treatment for the second. When I really just need a break from life, lying around and mindlessly browsing the internet can be a much-needed, mind-soothing rest. When it’s depression, doing nothing in large quantities only makes it worse. I get more bored and more stuck and more bored and more stuck until I can finally muster up the willpower to do something, anything—because doing something, no matter how small, provides a little bit of endorphin feedback and reminds me that it doesn’t always suck to Do Things. (On this note, there’s a splendid post in the Captain Awkward archives about escaping bad mood cycles. It’s so true. And the illustrations are the best.)
And that’s why I’m making myself write something today.