Lately, I’ve found myself reminiscing about what it was like taking care of Little Boy a year ago, when he was first born, and comparing that to what it’s like today. I present to you the result of that comparison, in handy chart form.
|Nighttime||What is this thing you call “night,” Mom and Dad?||Sleeps 11+ hours straight when not sick.|
|Nap Time||Keep your fingers crossed that he’ll fall asleep nursing, and pray that he stays asleep for longer than 45 minutes.||Lay him in crib with a kiss and an Elmo, turn off light, and close door.|
|Breastfeeding: Latching On||Carefully hold his head in exactly the right position with one hand while awkwardly squashing the breast away from his nose.||Vaguely aim the Boob Piranha in the right direction.|
|Breastfeeding: While You Wait||Catch up on all your favorite TV shows and Netflix.||Ban all sources of distraction including other people, the cat, and the sound of the washing machine.|
|Diaper Changes||Squirmy with a chance of pee.||Kid is bound and determined to grab himself.|
|Bath Time||Balance baby carefully on a sling above the water.||SPLASH PARTY!|
|Evening Strolls||Please stop screaming and go to sleep please go to sleep…||Everyone relaxes and enjoys checking out their surroundings.|
|Playtime||Playtime?||Requires frequent parental intervention to avoid destroying the house.|
|Snuggles||Almost constant.||Infrequent, but the ones you get are real honest-to-goodness hugs.|
And the winner is… the one-year-old!