It’s one of those days. Everything is in place for a pleasant, enjoyable afternoon – the sun is shining, the weather is delightful, the baby is relatively happy, and there’s nothing so urgent to be done that it cannot wait a little longer. I should be really, really grateful for that last part: the state of having nothing that must be done is so very rare as a parent. And yet, I’m just not feeling it.
I just don’t have the energy to take advantage of this day. I’d like to write, but my mind is blank on what to say. It would be a good day for gardening, but that would require getting up and moving around and actually doing something. I would rather lay here on the couch and deal with the guilt of wasting the day.
This condition is familiar. I have been here before. I have spent my whole adult life trying to give myself permission to be “lazy” and rest, but it still feels like I ought to be doing something more with this time. Something actively fun rather than passively bored.
Ever have one of those days?